Once a Fat Girl, Always a Fat Girl

Things that indicate you are a Fat Girl:

1. You decide when you are going to start a diet...meaning some future date.  It is a perfectly timed decision.
2. If you have decided that you get some sort of treat, it doesn't matter if you are hungry or not...you are going to eat that treat.
3. You mislead yourself on how many calories consumed in any given day.
4. You can tell when you are "not doing well" because you kinda hate yourself.
5. You can tell when you are "doing well" because you feel happy and in control.
6. If a plan is not in place, you often make bad choices about food.
7. You're always conscious of how much space you take up or how much space is available to you.
8. You would never step up on a grocery bottom shelf to reach the top shelf.
9. You would never "jump" to sit on a table or a chair for fear of breaking it.
10. You have a completely messed up idea of clothing and sizes.

Things that do not necessarily indicate you are a Fat Girl:

1. Your weight.

I feel like crap.  I'm so out of control and it doesn't feel good.  I'm way smaller than I was when I originally started this journey, but in my head, I feel bigger. 

I'm now taking control.  Tomorrow:

1. I'm starting my month of Fresh Diet.  If for some reason on a day, I can't eat my Fresh Diet food, I must log my food.
2. I'm starting my new running program.

Phase I is Wed-Sun.  I'm always pretty good during the week, but then I fall apart on the weekends.  So this Fri-Sun will be a big deal.  Tomorrow I will run for the first time in a very long time.  I'm nervous, but it is time to make this happen.

Happy New Year!