Aargh!

I'm so frustrated!!  I have shin splints.  WTF?  I didn't even know what they were because I have never dealt with them before.  My first thought was F*CK this, I'm done.  I tried, my body said NO, so I'm done.  I was on such a roll and hardly had to push myself to work out.  My food is coming along just fine as well.  It is like it is a freaking conspiracy. 

But then I finished my little pity party and set about modifying my plans so I can continue.  I immediately started the stretching exercises that are supposed to help.  Basically the biggest thing to get rid of them is to quit running.  Today I'm supposed to walk (per my running schedule), but I think I will do the elliptical to limit impact, plus I think it helps strengthen the muscles in my legs that will help. Additionally, I'm going to Jazzercise tonight even if I have to go in my leftover lunch stinky workout clothes.  What are you going to do?  I forgot extras.  I can always do low impact Jazzercise if I feel anything in my shins.

Tomorrow I'm scheduled to run again, but I'm guessing that one day of rest is not what is meant by "quit running until they are better."  I plan to elliptical (ellipticize?) tomorrow, Saturday and Sunday.  My hope is that by Monday I will be better and can resume my running program.  If not, fine.  The most important thing is that I'm working out.  The competitive part of me wants to conquer this running program, but I have to keep my eye on the prize.  It doesn't matter what I'm doing, as long as I'm doing something.

So really, what is the big deal?  I think it is this.  I feel guilty about not going to CrossFit.  I haven't been for a month.  Why? 

1. Sleep.  The biggest reason is because I'm so tired.  I know my sleep apnea is back because of the weight gain and I'm having trouble fighting through the day with a normal schedule.  The thought of getting up at 5:30 is just beyond what I want to do right now.
2. Running.  I did feel like I wanted to get back into running, to work on my cardio and to boost weight loss.  So, I didn't feel guilty for not going to CF because I was working on this awesome goal. 

Now that I don't feel like I'm working on that awesome goal because I can't run, I feel like I should go to CrossFit.  With just a 5 pound loss, I can tell my sleeping is better, but I think I need to lose another 10-15 to get back to normal.

I think maybe I will try to go to CrossFit ONE time next week.  No big pressure, just once.  Then evaluate how it goes.  I don't know why it has to be all or nothing with me?  Ugh. 

I have a fun weekend coming up, but it will challenge me to be as good as I was last weekend.  Tomorrow night I'm eating out, which should be fine, but I will be drinking too.  That I will have to limit.

Saturday, BFF is coming over for dinner and I'm making chicken tacos.  That should be fine.  Sunday, we are going to the movie to see Zero Dark Thirty and I will have to fight the popcorn urge there.  One day at a time!

The weekend is almost here!!