Still feeling successful...

Yesterday morning, I was so happy and so chirpy.  I mean, I just found out I lost 2.6 pounds last week.  And 7 pounds since the beginning of the year.  That is a BIG deal and I should have been happy and chirpy!

But when I went to work out, my mood just kind of fell apart.  I am hugely proud of myself for finishing 35 minutes on the elliptical.  At minute 4, I truly wanted to quit.  My lungs felt bizarrely heavy, I was fatigued, I was truly huffing and puffing.  But I thought of those poor folks on The Biggest Loser and how if they didn't keel over and die...I'm not going to either.

The whole afternoon I was tired and hungry.  I ate my meals and my snacks and I was still SO hungry.  I was going to the grocery store after work and I realized that was a big, fat mistake so I just went home.  I had my dinner and I was still SO hungry so I added a bowl of oatmeal.  That at least got me through the evening so I could go to bed and sleep (before 9pm...)

I realized this morning that I didn't even manage to bring in my food delivery and there it was on the step when I walked out this morning.  I was just out of it!  Anyway, today I'm feeling hungrier than usual for this time of day.  I think making a fill appointment was the right thing to do.  I'm making good choices and I'm not mindlessly eating.  I had forgotten what it was like to feel this hungry and remembered why I got the band in the first place. 

I'm just going to have to fight it for another week.  But millions of people are fighting obesity every day and many of them don't have the tools and resources that I do.  I will not be a victim.  I believe that I need to lose about 7-15 pounds to completely lose my sleep apnea.  That is my short term goal.  I hate that I let this happen because being tired makes everything else seem so much harder. 

Here is the picture I mentioned yesterday.  Last year (actually the year before) I had gotten to the point that I enjoyed getting my picture taken.  I don't need perfection.  But I know I'm not happy with myself because I just don't like my pictures.  It's okay.  I know I will again soon.